I have a confession to make – I’m a big time, continuous, compulsive and (slightly) obsessive planner. Seriously, I can’t get enough of it!
Weekend plans to make…I’m your girl; work stuff to organise…I’m all over it; life goals…I’ve got them coming out of my ears; diary commitments…I’m booked up months in advance. My family and friends will attest to it, I can’t get enough of planning for the future.
But recently I’ve found myself questioning this way of being and have started asking myself what I might get from living in the moment. This doesn’t mean living without direction, as my core desires anchor me in how I want to feel and are beacons of what I want to invest my time in at every given moment. I just can’t help thinking that living in the moment might be a more fruitful and kinder way of living.
What would living in the moment look like for me? I have to be honest, this is quite scary for me to contemplate. It makes me think of chaos and my dear old FOMO, fear of missing out, rears its ugly head thinking about everything I would miss out on by pootling away by myself in a land of nothingness.
Ok, so that doesn’t really work. It’s more productive to think about what this would not look like…not beating myself up about things I haven’t done, not spending my life running from one thing to the next, not planning things I should do and instead doing what I want to do, feeling energised and having space to accept random and unexpected invitations to do things, opening myself up to different experiences, breaking out of the box I shut myself in, letting go of hurt from the past and fear for the future, self-forgiveness, self-acceptance, so much more. Suddenly I’m shown what it would look like and yes, it’s a bit chaotic but not in an ‘I’ve got no clue what I want to do’ way but in a laugh until you cry, rejoice wildly, mad love experience!
So in this moment, the only moment I have, I pledge to embrace it and experience it fully. Even if it’s just this once, I choose not to plan and to instead live in this moment.