Love, self-discovery, Wellbeing

Peeling off the mask

I started off this evening intending to create a vlog/blog about the experience I’ve recently had with life being unfair…not unfair to me – I’m in a pretty great place right now, great job, loving relationships and good health – but life being unfair to others around me and not knowing what to do about it or how I can possibly put this broken world into some sense in my mind.

However, as I was recording the video, I felt a wall of uncomfortableness (if that’s a word?!) form around me because I was not producing a blog that was inspiring, radiant and full of light and was not being the happy Amy I so often feel I need to show the world. My words would not come out right. I felt trapped.

I don’t think I’m the only one who ever feels like this. I think it must be a condition of humanity that we want to show our best and hide our raw, vulnerable, broken selves from other people.

But at what cost? To me, the cost is high. Rarely feeling fully seen and fully loved, berating myself for all that I’m not, and burying my true self under a ton of food/drink/numbing TV to not have to face up to my imperfection.

I feel that this is me at my worst, but as I re-read my words and watch my video, it is also me at my best. With tears in my eyes as I try to express the need at my very core – the need to be fully, deeply, imperfectly authentic and to lovingly accept who I am. Peeling off the mask to reveal who I truly am.

5 thoughts on “Peeling off the mask”

  1. After listening to all your vlogs this past hour I am left completely in awe!! Thank you for sharing your insights, for inspiring me to look deeper into myself and for peeling back your mask and revealing your raw, beautiful, honest, glowing self dear friend. Love you to the moon and back. xoxo

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s