Love, self-discovery, Wellbeing

I was looking for perfection

So, I’ve been having some life coaching with the most wonderful lady – Claire Obeid (check her out, she’s awesome!) and last week we were talking about speaking my truth and my desire to be authentic.

I’ve mentioned this in a couple of my posts before and have tried to speak from my heart and put myself out there. So often in life I feel the real Amy inside me is saying “speak up! say what you really feel” but for some reason, I am unable to let the words leave my mouth and I walk away feeling dejected and frustrated.

Has anyone else ever felt that? 

I’m not talking about difficult conversations that are super challenging…if only! I’m talking about telling someone their keyboard is on caps lock when they’re putting in a password or asking for something extra at a restaurant. However, it also feeds through to saying how I feel with friends/family sometimes or putting my opinion forward at work.

I spoke to Claire about how I was feeling and her insight has shone light onto this situation. Her wisdom hit me like a ton of bricks (in a great way) – I just had to share it!

I realised the barrier holding me back from speaking authentically is fear that it will not go perfectly. As I can’t predict the outcome of any given conversation, I am so often not willing to put myself out there – paralysed by the ‘what-ifs’ and assumptions in my head:

“what if they reject me”

“they’ll hate me”

“what if our friendship can’t withstand this”

“they’ll think I’m bossy”

The thing with these thoughts is that they’re not fair – they are my projections and imaginings of what someone is going to say/think/do. It’s not my call to make.

My only call is to speak from my heart, act out of love and share authentically of myself. I know it could take some time for this wisdom to sink in and flow through to action into my life but feel in such a stronger place from having this insight!

3 thoughts on “I was looking for perfection”

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