It has been such a lovely experience writing these blogs so far. Sure, it has come with some tears, feeling emotionally stripped naked at times and has involved facing many of my demons but it has been just amazing to have a way of sharing my truth instead of bottling up my thoughts and feelings like the Amy of old.
You know what has been the most amazing thing of all…? Instead of being looked at like a weirdo, ignored or alienated, I’ve experienced astounding levels of love, support and generosity of spirit from so many people who have been kind enough to read my words and encourage me. So, let me say, if I haven’t said it directly to you already –
Don’t worry – this isn’t going to turn into an Oscar-style post of thanks to the world, but I have to say that I am also so grateful to myself for being brave enough to put myself out there. It’s not easy sharing that, for example, I turn to food for comfort in times of need, or that I find it hard to not seek approval because I’m not quite there in believing I’m enough. However, sharing these feelings has stopped them being dark, dirty little secrets I try to hide and that has made a huge difference in my life – I feel liberated.
In fact, in revealing my inadequacies and struggles to the world, I feel so much lighter and brighter. I’ve got a bigger bounce in my step and feel that I shine a bit more. It’s like I’m rubbing off the dust clouding my internal windows and my light is able to glow outwards that much brighter.
Another thing I’ve experienced is a greater number of open, honest conversations with people I know. It could be that I’m at a point in my life where other people are doing some soul work too, but I feel like other people around me are also rubbing of the dust on their internal windows and are glowing that tiny bit more brightly… It reminds me of this quote by Marianne Williamson:
I don’t want to come across like a big-headed so-and-so thinking I’m the cause of people starting a personal journey of self-discovery. I’m not saying that. However, I whole-heartedly agree that as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. So I see my own personal journey of self-discovery as bigger than just my own personal experience.
I’ve seen it personally from the other side through being inspired by people like my partner-in-crime Nadine Eram – seeing her journey through yoga has been like sunshine on my skin and, although it feels strange to describe it as such, it’s like her journey has almost increased the space in my world to grow.
The same is true when I see the work and the journey of other people who are showing how beautiful, talented, brilliant they are. For example, Katie Heater sharing her amazing artistry with the world, my friend, Robyn following her passion for flowers and all the other beautiful and shining people I follow on Instagram who are owning it by being brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous.
As they shine, it unconsciously gives me permission to turn up my glow a bit more and that is pretty awesome.
So I suppose what I’m trying to say in my own ineloquent words is that what we do has a knock on effect, and spending time working on yourself is bigger than just what you get out of it – it transcends your own personal journey to touch the lives and hearts of other people.
So please, continue to let your light shine and I promise to do all I can to keep my light shining too.