…and so we begin anew

I hold so many things tight to my chest…the victories of my past, the burdens of harsh words said, the guilt of things I haven’t done to my best ability, the jealousy of not being at the same level as other people around me – not as clever, not as funny, not as outgoing, not as glowing.

And these things weigh me down and cause me to sink into despair at times.

I have so often wanted to put down these things that cause me sadness, but there are other things I haven’t wanted to let go of, let’s call them my moments of glory – my wins, the times I’ve excelled, the promotions I’ve received, the times I’ve felt so special, the beauty of tender moments with people I love.

Yet I’ve felt in recent times that these memories have also weighed me down – they’ve brought added expectations that I’m only good enough if I beat my previous levels of ‘greatness’ and had even greater highs.

They too have caused me to sink into despair at times.

So what can I do about this?

I begin anew. 

Each day, I put down the past and I let it go.

I spend a second feeling gratitude for the experiences that shine bright in my mind. I take a moment to think about the things that didn’t go so well and what I learnt from them. I say goodbye to the moments I have loved and the moments I have despised…and then I move on.

Without prejudice over what I need to do in order to be enough, without beating myself up for what went wrong in the past, without projection of what the day is going to be like compared to the past.

I put down the heavy burdens I’ve been carrying for so long.

I live in the moment and I begin anew.

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