I had an astro reading with the lovely Lila Rasa this week. I was a bit hesitant to book one, partly out of skepticism and partly for fear of her announcing some impending doom in my life, but I was also intrigued about the wisdom and insight it might bring…and the interesting experience it could be. So I took the plunge…
And let me tell you, it was AMAZING!!!
I still feel the uncertainty about how it works – the science behind it – but, you know what, I don’t really care. For it opened up so many avenues for thought and contemplation and was such an affirming and positive experience.
What I understand about evolutionary astrology is that at birth the planetary alignment reflects what we’re likely to experience through our personality and the way we see the world; this can bring clarity to things that might otherwise trip us up. However, this form of astrology respects that we have free choice to decide our own path (i.e. just because the planets indicate I’m born to fulfil my true potential doesn’t mean I am necessarily going to or have to do so). I really like this about it.
The session was recorded and, having woken up early today, I listened to it again. The thing that resonated strongly with me, and might with some of you, is this – the importance of moving my emotions. I want to explore this a bit with you today, dear reader.
As you may have seen from my previous posts, I’m a sensitive little soul. I feel deeply and strongly and, although I’m not ruled by these feelings, they impact on me heavily. This is why I’ve tried to suppress them in the past and can still be drawn to do the same today, because they can feel too much, too heavy.
I think suppressing them has come from my experience in this world…we judge mothers who can’t get their children ‘under control‘ when they cry; become passive in our anger – dishing out little acts of defiance; whisper behind people’s backs instead of having potentially difficult heart-to-heart conversations. We tend to shy away and don’t confront, acknowledge or accept our emotions.
I’m guilty of all of these things, so I’m not trying to pass blame. I’m merely commenting that we’re generally not great at letting feelings be felt.
Lila explained that I’ve got a lot of intensity in my chart – deep feelings that need to be energetically moved and cleansed – and that mercury, also known as Hermes,is an important force in my life. Hermes in mythology was able to venture into all realms in life, down to deepest hell and all the way up to the highest of heavens. In the same way I’m meant to go into the deep, dark places of my soul, as well as the highest highs of myself.
Lila’s word about this rang true for me, I know from personal experience that I need to feel the breadth of my emotions and if I don’t give myself permission, the feelings will pour out anyway.
It’s happened before in monumental scale – a tremendous outpouring of anger and sadness when I was 13, breaking down in my uni house during my second year of studies – and I know it will happen again unless I find healthy ways of riding the waves of my emotions.
So, what does this mean for me? How can I energetically move and cleanse my emotions?
I know I need to keep going with this blog, it has been the most amazing way I’ve found of exploring my emotions and feelings so far. I am also getting so much out of allowing myself to feel when I’m not ok instead of shutting down any feeling I find uncomfortable so I will keep on keeping on with this.
The reading also made me aware that these feelings take a toll on other people – I know, for example, my husband can find it hard see me experiencing the dark emotions and so I know part of this is also explaining to him that it’s not something to be feared or shut down, but is what I need to do to be able to love and glow and live my truth, to be the person I want to be.
So really, this experience with astrology has been amazing at confirming the things I’m already doing, validating the thoughts that were forming in my head and showing me I’m on the right path.
All-in-all it has been an amazing experience!