This is the final post I’m going to write that was inspired by the 100th episode of the RobCast. (I’ve written two other posts inspired by his podcast, you can find them here and here if you’d like to look at them!)
This final one is something I have been mulling over. I haven’t been able to easily write to you about it, dear friend, because it has some real implications that go with it…it’s almost like standing on a high-dive ready to jump in and feeling scared of the leap. But here I go and I hope you’ll jump with me…
In the podcast, Rob explained that he doesn’t want to be the same person in 5 years’ time – he wants to be even more glowing, abundant, joyful thriving in his life. But he knows this isn’t something that will happen by itself – he has to be intentional with his actions in order to bloom into the person he wants to become.
This made me pause and think…and if I’m honest, his words seemed that little bit too hard to put into action, so I walked away from them for a while.
Because habitual living is so easy and uncomplicated to do – working, eating, watching TV or going out with friends and falling into bed only to do the same thing again and again and again…but this isn’t what I want.
And it’s also all too easy for life to become so hectic that there’s no space for anything but the usual routine. I mean, I looked at my calendar yesterday and saw that I don’t have a spare weekend in March 2018. Seriously!!
Life can so easily pick up at such a frantic speed and I can’t remember the number of times I’ve said to friends “life feels like a carousel at the moment and I just need it to stop so I can catch my breath.” But that’s not going to happen unless I make it happen. The carousel will keep turning.
I’m not complaining about my beautifully full social life, please don’t get me wrong (ok, I might be complaining a teensy bit, so I’ll stop), but the realisation about the busyness of 2018 is made me realise – Rob’s words are true. If I want to be in a different place, more glowing, abundant, joyful, thriving in my life, I need to do something different to get there.
The first big question I had to ask myself is who is it I want to be in 5 years’ time? And this is where I get personal and place all my dreams out in the open so please be tender with what I’m going to tell you, dear one.
I want to be free of anxiety and more present in the moment.
I want to be body confident, not because I have the perfect body (although that’d be nice!) but because I love myself unconditionally and can see clearer that my body is a shell that houses my beautiful soul and deserves to be treasured and honoured.
I want to be a safe haven for others, a place where they can come to be restored and find more courage, truth and love within themselves.
I want to be free of disordered eating.
I want to be better travelled and to have lived abroad once more.
I want to be living awake, not sleepwalking my way through life, spending more time present in this world than I do watching TV.
I want to have even greater intimacy, love and connection in my marriage than I do now.
I want to make Courage Truth Love my full-time occupation.
These things light me up when I think of them. To think of living a life like this is breathtaking to me.
Yet I can tell that the energy needed to make this happen is huge…and I know Rob is right, if I don’t want to be just as I am in 5 years’ time, I need to be intentional with my life.
So then comes the second question, what do I need to do to get there and is it worth the effort? This question is enormous and I sat with it for a few moments before I could form any sort of answer.
And then I reminded myself that I’m not asking myself to jump from who I am here and now to the Amy I’ve described above. I’ll get there by taking little steps and making small choices that incrementally add up along the way.
And the potential in the person I could be in 5 years’ time in enormous. As I said, it lit me up inside to think of growing into that person. So I sort-of said “yes, it’s worth the effort…or at least the effort of trying” and I’m going to see what walking this path looks like and start doing what I need to do. And once I said “yes”, two things instinctually jumped out as feeling right for me as a start:
- Find a community to meditate with to deepen my practice and make it more established in my life.
- Cut down the amount of TV I watch (although it feels painful to write and put out there in the world, I know it’s right).
They’re only two small actions, but they feel right. So I’ll see where they take me…who knows where I’ll be in 5 years’ time.