I’ve shared with you in a couple of blogs, dear one, that I’ve got a new job. I’ve been wanting to share my experience of getting it with you. So today, 3 weeks after starting, I want to spend a few moments reflecting about it. My start date seems like a million years ago and the job offer seems even further away, but I still remember what I wanted to write to you at the moment that I accepted this new role so I want to get my thoughts out there while there’re still vaguely in my mind.
I know that writing about this experience will consolidate what I learnt from this experience and I hope it will provide a little bit of wisdom that may be of use to you.
I think I had been ready for a new role for a good 6 months before I got the job offer that was right for me. When I started looking, I was open to staying in my current organisation or moving elsewhere, I just knew I needed a change. The only way I can describe how I felt is like wearing trousers that are slightly too small for you – you can still put them on, but there’s a level of discomfort in staying in them for too long.
When I started applying for jobs, I didn’t think that it would take so long for the right opportunity to come to me…I must have applied for over 20 different roles and I think this was a huge area of learning and growth for me – to accept and be ok with where you are and not take it personally when you’re faced with a tide of ‘no thank yous’.
It was uncomfortable and frustrating at times and often lonely but in the end, I found moments of peace where I said ‘if this job is where I am at the moment, I accept that’ and I let go of the urge to push forward, to move, to advance, in order to surrender to where I was in that moment.
I’m still wondering whether I should have started to apply for jobs at an earlier date when I was still growing in my old role instead of waiting to be ready for a move… That’ll be something that I dwell on for a while.
Many doors shutting
When I was looking for new a job, it was really hard going. I was constantly being knocked back with ‘sorry’, ‘we regret to inform you…’ and ‘not this time’. It was really hard to keep going.
At times I felt helpless, at times I felt not enough and at times I felt so undesirable – I didn’t know what was wrong with me. But I kept on telling myself that every ‘no’ was just one door closing so I could move closer to the door that was opening to my perfect job.
It was the letting go, the surrendering, the small steps of accepting my situation as it was, that let me continue on with my job hunt. It took guts and patience and so many moments of surrendering to the situation I was in…but it was the right thing to do and I’m so glad I kept going because of where I am now.
I remember going to the interview for the job I’ve now got in a polkadot dress and gold shoes.
Yes, I looked a bit different, but I remember thinking “if this job is right, they’ll accept me for me“. I’m so glad that I rocked up there looking exactly as I love to be – pretty dress, bright shoes, limitless enthusiasm and a deep hunger to do some good in this world.
Life is too short to be anything but yourself.
I’ve learnt this through the amazing role models I’ve had in my life who have demonstrated such courage in being themselves and I am slowly feeling this message sink in.
I just want to be me.
So this is my experience…and 3 weeks into my new role I’m so glad I persevered to get to where I am. It took so much energy and stamina and hope. Endless supplies of hope. But I’m now in a job I love, that is pushing me further than I could ever have dreamt. And I know indeed that all the doors that were closed – all the jobs I didn’t get – were indeed moving me towards the one that was exactly right for me.
And for that, I am so thankful.