blogging, self-discovery, self-judgement

Holiday ‘shoulds’

My holiday in Hawaii is almost two thirds done – a holiday of a lifetime – and it’s only now that I’m letting go of the ‘shoulds’ that have coloured some of my trip.

  • I should see the whole place
  • I should make the most of EVERY day
  • I should be having the best time ever
  • I should go to all the major sights of the island

And don’t get me wrong, dear friend, I’m enjoying myself and I do want to make the most of this trip – this last major travel just being the two of us before our little man comes into the world.

But I recognise that these ‘shoulds’ haven’t helped me to get into the holiday vibe. Instead, I’ve put pressure on myself. And I know that this pressure isn’t helpful or conducive to enjoying my time in paradise.

It’s only today, when Gregg is heading off to Pearl Harbour and I’ve decided to spend the day relaxing in a little coastal town, that I truly feel myself sink into the enjoyment of relaxing. And that’s what I’ve needed more than anything on this trip.

Time to just be, time to read my books in the shade and warmth, headspace to assimilate all the changes that I’ve experienced over the past 6 months and will be experiencing over the next years of my life.

That’s what I really need for myself and this time away.

Not days of rushing around seeing everything and doing everything. Not doing all the things I think are expected of me. Not spending my time focusing on taking the perfect photo of a perfect trip away.

Just space and time to be and relax and enjoy the company of my husband and my own company too.

In admitting these things, I feel such sweet relief. A weight of expectation lift from my shoulders.

And so I’m going to put down the ‘shoulds’ for the rest of this trip and make more space to just be. And that will make this trip the holiday of a lifetime.

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