blogging, parenthood, self-discovery

My top 5 for Jenson

I stumbled across this partially completed post which I wrote about 6 weeks ago when I was having a ‘baby moon’ (spending time cocooned in bed with Jenson close to me to increase my milk production). As he slept on my chest, I thought about all the things I love about him and being a parent to him and wrote them down to share with you.

It makes for a slightly cheerier, but just as honest, read compared to my last post! I hope you enjoy hearing about them!

1. His smile

Jenson’s smile is like a ray of sunshine to me. Oh how I love it! It took him seven weeks to show his beaming grin but it was worth every second of the wait. When he wakes up long before I’m ready to get up in the morning (he started stirring at 5:30am today) or after an epic crying session, all it takes is his smile to make everything right.

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A cheeky smile from my little bunny on Easter Sunday

2. His feet

Most parents love their baby’s chubby thighs or cheeks but for some reason it’s Jenson’s feet that I always want to nibble. I love the baby toe reflex he still has that makes them all curl up when you touch them and just want to kiss them and pretend to gobble them all up whenever I give Jenson a nappy change. I know it’s nonsensical to be so obsessed with them…but I love them so much.

3. How he holds my finger when he feeds and sleeps

Jenson’s hands are sooooo tiny compared to mine. It’s difficult to compute that one day he will be a grown up man, with hands that will probably be bigger than mine. But now they are so much smaller and they sum up his vulnerability – how he relies on me for everything – and it makes me feel so privileged to know that he feels safe and secure in my care, shown by how he wraps his fingers around one of mine when he feeds and sleeps.

4. His development

I was worried when I was pregnant that I might find having a child dull, mundane and full of repetition. If I’m honest, I do sometimes find this to be the case but the main feeling I get as a parent is one of enjoyment. Seeing the little bit of development he has each day. It might be that he’s willing to lie by himself for slightly longer on one day, that he cries a little less in his car seat or smiles at something new he sees (like yesterday when he beamed at his reflection in the mirror). It’s an honour to witness his first steps into this world and I find myself in regular wonderment at being his parent.

5. His strong personality

Jenson isn’t a whiny baby. I’ve yet to see him fuss and fret over nothing but if he wants something, boy does he let me know. At the top of his lungs. I have a feeling that he gets his dramatic temperament from me!

And I love this about him – that he knows what he wants and lets his wishes be known. And I hope that he keeps this strength of personality so that he goes bravely after what he wants in life and lives big and proud, as my cousin Adam (who he gets his middle name from) did.

I’m sure there will be so many other things that I will love about Jenson, my little Peanut, as time goes by but these five things are what I love the most at the moment.

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