I used to put on the song ‘Love Myself’ by Hailee Steinfeld and dance around my house. Buoyed by its energy and the seemingly radical sentiment of loving myself, I couldn’t get enough of it.
I’ve just read the lyrics and the song is a little strange (about physically loving yourself) but I stand by my love of it. My attraction to the radical notion of self-love in a society which seems to push how we aren’t good enough, thin enough, pretty enough, youthful enough.
And on reflecting on where I am in life, I feel so happy that I can say more than ever before that I like and love myself.
Before, it felt like this was an egotistical thing to feel – loving myself.
I felt it meant being too big for your boots or big-headed.
But I now see that it’s the foundation for so much in life.
Liking yourself and knowing your self-worth is a fundamental necessity for being able to function as a well-adjusted adult.
Sure, I still have times where I don’t talk to myself with kindness. Where I exasperate myself and I doubt what I have to offer.
But more and more, my stance is one of positive self-regard.
Of sureness of what I have to offer to the world and to myself.
And here’s what I think when I appraise who I am:
I’m an intelligent, strong, driven, caring woman.
I’m someone who thrives off of learning new things – my capacity to develop and grow is one of my biggest strengths and something I’m proud of.
I’ve also got a large capacity to learn – I’m bright.
I’m driven and want to be the best I can be – a good mother, good friend – to myself and others, good daughter, good sister, good worker.
I’m creative, I’ve got a talent for writing.
I’m also warm and am good at including others and making people feel they matter.
I’m also funny in my own way.
A year ago, I’d have had a massive lump in my throat from the anxiety of thinking about sharing this with you – what would you think of me? how egotistical will you judge me to be?! – but now it feels like a fact.
This is who I am.
Not all that I am, mind you.
There’s also my shadow side.
The side of me that is stubborn and selfish and greedy and insecure. Not willing to see other perspectives and so busy that I don’t take time to just be.
But my shadow doesn’t define me anymore like it used to. And I love myself with my shadows.
I feel more balanced and at peace, more comfortable in my own skin than not.
And it’s a beautiful place to be.