Last week I applied to be a guest on a mothering podcast I frequently listen to. It was a bit of a long shot as the guests on there have been successful entrepreneurs, authors of books and other people who are known in their own circle of the world – whether it be the coaching, complimentary therapy or spiritual world – as someone a bit special.
And while I think I have important messages to share – about self-worth, kindness to the planet, feminism – I’m not known.
I wouldn’t imagine many people saying ‘you know, Amy thinks…’ to inform their discussions. Partly because my writing and work is based around feelings and intuition instead of primary research I’ve conducted but also because I haven’t ‘made it’.
But then again, I’m viewing success out of the filter of my own insecurities. In many ways, I know that I am respected and my work is valuable. I mean, there’s proof in you reading this post – I guess that you’ve come to my blog because you enjoy what I say, you respect my opinions, you find my worldview interesting.
And writing the blog has made me question what ‘made it’ even means. Here are some of my theories:
- Having someone publish your words and thoughts
- Reaching a large audience with your work
- Earning £100,00s per year
- Being told my others that you’ve made it
- People hunting you out for opportunities instead of you chasing them out
But I can see that all these measures are measures of external validation which doesn’t interest me nearly as much as it did before.
What someone thinks of me, spends their time doing with my thoughts, pays to work with me has nothing to do with the unique and wonderful person I know myself to be.
It’s not how I measure my success.
And while I am unsure whether I’ll be asked to come onto the podcast – I imagine the podcaster wants to work with guests who are of interest to her target audience but also those who have a large enough fan base to amplify her work and get more followers/coaching clients – but I’ve realised that this is really inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.
I won’t ‘make it’ when others tell me I’m important, want to speak to me, invite me to collaborate with them (although it would be really flattering for these things to come true!).
I’ll make it when I live a life going after what I want. And what I want is to meet people who are kindred spirits, to be courageous, to live an expansive and adventurous life.
And I’ve done that in applying to be a guest on the podcast.
I’ve truly made it.